Posted in Originals, Poetry, Reflections

for once i want to believe | a poem from the numb depths

the brain is not responding any more, tired and exhausted
it is now redirecting all lines to my heart
heart is choking on the emotions streaming in my blood vessels
is asking to escape this Q and A 
i now want something dangerous

something that keeps me on the endge


so i am not burdened by the weight of living a life


so i am lighter and an easy flyer


something dangerous that induces a fear


bigger than the others that i am nurturing right now


so i can become a kid napped into its clawing spreads


losing track of every other string

of pain, of fear or that of thought
for once i want to believe

that something that does not kill me

actually makes me stronger

because i honestly have wished 

to die, before i have to endure this pain

and hence the desire to feel danger

a pure rush of fear, fear of death

or maybe something just more fearful than this, right now

more tangible, more immediate, more fucking realistic

so that i face it, live through it, survive it

and know for sure 

or at least a little more sure

that the power of my will still holds some flare

that as long as i am alive i can still stand straight

pay the prices of living, rents to the landlords

feed the flesh and blood of this inherited human form

and live to see the circle complete


not run out of fuel till the ends meet . . . 

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