Posted in Originals, Poetry, Reflections

for once i want to believe | a poem from the numb depths

the brain is not responding any more, tired and exhausted
it is now redirecting all lines to my heart
heart is choking on the emotions streaming in my blood vessels
is asking to escape this Q and A 
thus
i now want something dangerous
 

something that keeps me on the endge

 

so i am not burdened by the weight of living a life

 

so i am lighter and an easy flyer

 

something dangerous that induces a fear

 

bigger than the others that i am nurturing right now

 

so i can become a kid napped into its clawing spreads

 

losing track of every other string

of pain, of fear or that of thought
~
for once i want to believe

that something that does not kill me

actually makes me stronger

because i honestly have wished 

to die, before i have to endure this pain

and hence the desire to feel danger

a pure rush of fear, fear of death

or maybe something just more fearful than this, right now

more tangible, more immediate, more fucking realistic

so that i face it, live through it, survive it

and know for sure 

or at least a little more sure

that the power of my will still holds some flare

that as long as i am alive i can still stand straight

pay the prices of living, rents to the landlords

feed the flesh and blood of this inherited human form
 

and live to see the circle complete

 

not run out of fuel till the ends meet . . . 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s